I have been feeling really tired for this entire week. Everytime I close my eyes, I fall asleep and I keep falling asleep during class...*looks guilty* So many things have been happenoing and none of it has been good. I think the only nice thing that happened today was bumping into Yonghao at school~ Other than that...-sigh-
I have photocopied Jamie Oliver's face and put it in my file...hahaha cheap thrills. To everyone I know who is hurting: Please. Take care. Don't do anything rash, you are thought of and much loved~
Andrea: PPG night tmr, please? Well, only if you feel like it...no pressures. :-)

Today was a hot and humid day... :-)
I feel so tired today~

Chants: I am stupid, I am stupid, I am stupid...have u chided ureself for boing stupid? Today I felt really ugly, walked past a mirror in a store and saw how ugly I am...realization. POST menstrual syndrome?
He prob thinks I am weird for staring in while walking past every evening...then again, I am weird~
Grrreat. Now I have 2 problems on either side of the shoulder...What does he want from me? and I am being childish about him. God. stop it.

I am hungry...Ang sinsin is cracking corny jokes...I need comfort food~

"Stop building walls around you...I want to break down those barriers," He said. It was all a lie...I have been thrown off balance.

OMFG...this cannot be happening
11:37pm at night, while grappling with PMS and emptiness, I was talking to gene online when the hp rang...it was a private number. I picked it up and the caller hung up...3 secs later, the hp beeped. An sms.
Evans: Hi there, you remember me?
God. Are you mocking me? Why do I feel watched by you? Why do I feel screwed? Someone tell me what to do now.
I decided to not reply...I have to clear my damn head...

Sometimes when I am feeling lonely, I think of you and how you are. When I am sitting alone on a rumbling bus, I think of you, when I am looking out at the night sky, I think of you...

Ash: Thanks for being my friend and sharing my secrets from day one. I really don't know how i would have gotten by without you. Thank you for sharing my insanity and going through those Ally McBeal moments...
Sarah: Thanks you for being such a mother...fussing and worrying...and always looking out for me. Please, you and ray deserve each other...do cherish.
Andrea: Thanks for always, always, understanding and being able to guess what's on my mind. Thanks for being your generous, giving self, for your transparency and honesty, I love you...I truly hope things get better and you will be happy in the end. Now, go sleep...yes, NOW. ;-)
Liang: Thanks for always, always being there for me...after all these years...no matter whatever happened to me, thank you for not judging and never hesitating ot help. Love you...you are thought of and missed.
Gene: Thanks for those late-night irc sessions...talking and talking...yakking and yakking...you never fail to be there somehow.
Kavin: Thanks for making me laugh...for telling me in the end that you dun mean half the things that you say...even though I know it~ Hope things get better with you too...
Ben: Thank you for being yourself...just ben...hahaha. For being so...you...I really dunno how to say it. :-)
Yiwen: Thanks for the squishes and all the laughter~ Love you and gene...
Yonghao: You've taught me so, so much about love and life...how to love and cherish...thank you for your honesty that can sometimes hurt...you helped me grow up...

This was just well, a on the spur of the moment thing...I was havin a lonely fit... :-)

I hate cocky-looking males.

ARghhhhh!!! I'm going nuts!!! Chants: Stop being childish, stop being childish... !!

I saw Him today again...and for the first time, he was wearing home clothes instead of his work clothes. For that split second, I swooned. Did I see him smirk while passing me by or was he just smiling to someone behind me? -sigh-

Went to town with Ash and Rox...I hearby declare them the most indecisive shoppers...hahaha, j/k :-) Left halfway, so didn;t know if they bought their boho clothes...yes its boho ben, not bobo. ;-)

You were my crush, my insanity
Never the calm in the storm.


You, my sacrifice,
my pining in the rain


You were my pain and confusion
The emptiness when I searched and found.


You brewed my intensity but
stirred the cold in me.


You, the glimpse, the shadow
The crush.
(Inspired by gene...haha)

Just trying to raise the doom and gloom with a lil Jason Brooks...

I am quite nervous for tommorrow's Tv....*sCReaMSS* aRg. Oh well, Had a good morning today, sleep till rather late, then slowly bathed, changed and got ready...arhaha...I love being lazy sometimes...And I can't believeit, no matter how much I eat, there's still leftover cake in the fridge. *doink*

To Him.

How can you excpect me to be happy for you?
A year of hurt, shrugged off by you,
with your careless smile.

I've tried to be there,
despite what happened,
seen you fall and stumble,
so many times.

Yet you never fail to hurt me,
time and time again.
I tried to be forgiving,
to be a friend.

But you always return my concern,
with a slap on the face.
So who's the fucker now?
Who's the foolish one?

If this doesn't work out,
please go away,
before I retch at your lying face.

Everything feels horrid right now~ its horridity...or maybe PMS, or maybe the flu...a hundred thousand reasons.

I think I have the sleeping bug...or maybe its the Flu ...feeling like so, so, so tired nowadays...Feel like sleeping at every lesson~ *wails*... booohooo....its torture to want to sleep when you can't!

Got the hiccups...Bummer. :-( So much air I want to burp it all out.

Met up with really old friends today...it wasn't until today that I realised how much I've missed them...we've been through possibly everything that could happen to wretched teenagers like us. ;-) Just a note to say I love you girls...yes, ALL six of you... :-)

::sleepy::!!!! falling asleep in Sin Sin's class~ Being a do-do now...and I am super hungry...okay, what's new.. ;-)

Yet another lazy afternoon...I'm starting to like em weekend afternoons...not doing anything particular...just chilling out and eating leftover cake...*contented smile* Nothing interesting really happened today...can't wait for Monday so I can polish up my script with my groupmates...that's about all~
Oops...just remembered that I haven't paid my Starhub bill...Bummer.

Today was another hazy-lazy day...One more day to my 18th birthday and somehow it just feels a little weird this year...maybe its because I'll be celebrating it with Billy in addition to my family and I'm not too sure about that...Or maybe as you grow older, your birthdays feel much colder? (like my mother said). Oh well~

Did nothing but sleep in, eat and watch cartoons...nice little break from the whole week :-) Too bad the Movenpick icecream stall in school has moved away...was beginning to enjoy that. I think I shall laze around the whole of today...

Btw, I am having the shittiest sore throat ever...

Had TV studio productions...it was really well...productive. I think we learnt a lot and the three hours just flew past so quickly...got to work with everyone and all...it was good... :-)
Went to town today with ash and roxanne after IS do walk around...Ash bought Booboo cake from NYDC for her sis's birthday~ yumyum...Am rather tired now, had a long day and all...so its time to catch some snooze....

yay~ wanted to post that for a long time.. -grin-

There it is!!! Finally...one of the "writlab kittens"! Thanks gene the "html guru" hahaha

Hmm...went to Ikea with Ash to de-stress a little and eat swedish meatballs!! Yum~ We had an assessed tutorial for Newswriting today~ Felt like diagnostic test all over again...I must learn how to put pics on the blog...gene told me how, but I haven't tried yet...cuz I just recceived a few pics of the kittens that hang ard the writlabs... :-) Oh, and must start on the webdeap journal soon...

I'm Jean Grey
What X-Men Character are You?

Its Monday morning and we are in the comp labs having PR. We got Ang and all I can think about is FOOD...cuz we are all so freakin hungry...I think I prefer yeoh...Its 8am and well, she's a little dry. Fell sick over the weekend...feeling tired cuz of the flu. Another week to go. :-)

Today was quite a full day...came to school in the morning to take pictures for the TV project...it was a lot of fun...esp when barbie met GI Joe...hahaha. The people at the atrium thought we were some weirdos going around taking photos of barbie... :-) Feeling tired and I hope webdeap ends soon. Got TV early in the morning tomorrow...sigh~ Saw Kon today and he was wearing a blazer..he looked funny wearing such a thick blazer on such a hot day...haha~
Shall blog later...

Gosh, I just said like four Oh-wells in the last post...Okay, so I'm bored....

I have the itch-ies...Got bitten badly by sandflies when I went to the beach on sunday...I have em all over my legs and arms and its a pain trying hard not to scratch...hurts too, when the skin comes into contact with water... :-( oh well~ Skipped the drama talk today, was too freaking tired and lazy. Oh well...borrowed some books from the library so that I can read on the way to school.

Got to be in school earlier for my TV thingy...hopefully we can churn out some good pictures. I only have Keshvani's lesson tomorrow....then its off to worship rehearsal...hopefully can make it on time.
Oh well, VTP has got me thinking about prospects and the future. I don't think I am any good at a particular area of Mass Comm, so it is quite unsettling...oh well~

Yay~ tuesday...Ally Mcbeal and Gilmore Girls. Have to get up early for school tomorrow again! What's more there are two talks that I have to attend, one for PR and another for the Drama thingy which will end at 7:00pm!! There goes my only early day~ Hopefully I can get my handphone and line restored by this week so I can start using my phone again...

Got to rush my TV project a bit so that we can be ready by Friday...this week is starting to be quite hectic already. I find that this semester's modules calls for a lot of self-reliance and individual preparation and research, before lessons...which is well, good and bad. I have not really made up my mind as to whether to choose VTP1 or 2...don't really think I am eligible for OVTP given my shitty grades and all...*frets* Well, this IS the semester to start bucking up I guess... :-)

Starting PR lessons now...Watching yet another video. Arg. The class is so quiet and sleepy!! :-)

Watched "The Colour Purple" on tape today for the first time and really loved it. Classes went rather well for the whole of this week I must say...TV project coming in...

Useless pointing fingers,

feeling all the spite,

You took a piece of me thus,

shared my insanity.

Insecurity clouded me,

my stupid myopic fear,

Now I'm feeling torn,

without you being near,

What I really am,

even that, I can't be sure.

I will have to pay $200 plus for my phone and also sigh up for a 2 year plan...Its been a bad day today. I don't know why but I keep losing things...My mum wants me to give the phone back to Billy after I replaced it and use my old phone...:-( all because some person pickpocketed me.

I don't like feeling awkardness and meaness. Something's changed but I don't know what...

I lost my handphone today...someone pickpocketed me while I was at bugis with Ash~...She noticed that the front components of my bag was zipped open and that was when I realised that I was pickpocketed...-sigh- a consolation was that starhub would replace my SIM card free....but I have to get a new 8250 since it belongs to BIlly...sigh. got to source for money now...

In webdeap class now...hopefully I can improve my web skills and clarify what I am still blur about... :-)

Hey, I think I'll blog before I go to bed...got lessons at 3pm till 6m tomorrow conducted by Keshvani...hopefully I can drag myself out of bed earlier tommorrow so that I can catch a movie with Ash and then make our way to school...I'm kind of enjoying yet not enjoying this first week of school because its like we don't do much and get to know our classmates better, but on the other hand, some tutorials are so boring that if you don't do anything, you'll fall asleep! :-)

I'm kind of feeling tired of some things...or maybe I've not been really sleeping well...hope that when I wake up, it'll be a better day tomorrow.

Today is CAT day~

About to start newswriting with ramani aka Yoda...waiting for his Majesty to arrive. On the way to the writLabs just now, we saw three pretty kittens!!! *meow* Sarah fed them her croissant aka her lunch. They were so adorable and they didn't even flinch when I petted them...awwww... P.S: I don't think that ash is an animal person...hahahaha....Kittiesssss!!! yay~

Two are POM POMs, one is a POM (gilmore girls yesterday)

Talking about POM, POM was horrid...we had a pork seller lookalike who was the epitome of Drraggy... and she's ugly when she smiles...::shudders:: blog later... :-)

Today was shitty day

Went to school at 8:00am only to find out that the lesson was cancelled. Contrary to popular belief, I did not know that the lesson was cancelled beforehand...It was raining all day, so we headed for starbucks at Holland Village..Got to know our new classmates more...eg. Daniel, Kee Soon and Val Wee...talked about a lot of things. It was good. i hate rainy days in school...we had to trot around the whole school in the rain and it didn;t help that I was wearing jeans. The first day was a drag and I am already not looking forward to WebDeap. I suck at Web stuff....*groan*

Want to catch Gosford Park with Ash on Thurs. Persis messaged Ash...according to our friend Jennifer who checked out the FMS noticeboard, we don't have CommIssues for the whole of this week...Ash, Sarah and I have decided to take the risk and not go...If that woman set us up...she will pay dearly...