The Only Good Thing
The only good thing that happened during this unbelievably tough week - My mum kindly bought me two, not just one but two, cartons of Fruit Tree Fresh Apple and Aloe Vera. And I'm happy. If only things could be as simple as two cartons of apple juice with aloe bits floating in it. I think I should just not do anything for a while. Honestly, its laughable how you interpret Love. Its funny how you crouch within the walls of your self-imposed hell. Its ludicrous how you make yourself the victim because of the most mundane of things. I am up to my neck, wading in this pool of patience, of tolerance. Dun push it, really.
I could make this out to be a vicious, tongue lashing post. But I won't. Simply because, jokes of all jokes, I love you.
So just don't.

In Retrospect
I just scrolled all the way down to the bottum of my blog and I realised that the last day I had before shit hit the fan was July 27th, 6 days after my birthday. It'll almost be a month now. Time flies, it really does. Everything has mellowed somewhat. It'll be another week till I can let out a breath of relief and say that I've cleared my accounts. If all goes well, that is. The first thing I am going to do when I have restored my finances would be to get that goddamned pair of DKNY shades damnit. Sigh. Yes I am ranting.

Thursday's All Good
Tommorow's Thursday. I will finally have some time to spend with myself. I wanted to go swimming but well, the red friends came today so I guess I have to scrap that idea.
Its fantastic how Year 3 literally just flies by like that. After the 2 week break, it'll be full steam ahead. I like my electives, tho they might seem dry, but hey, I think we're a lot more sharper than before.
I apologise if I've been somewhat on-and-off testy. Been trying really hard to get things organzied and back to normal that I've become somewhat worrisome.
I pray for strength and wisdom everyday, and thankfully things are somewhat starting to get into perspective. I think I'll leave the emo-trip till later when I have the time to.
I think I might have been too harsh on a certain someone, whose earnest yearning to learn might came across to me as irrelevant. -sigh-
By the way, remind me to bring a tape recorder during IMC. Gettin zig^gy Wit It is harder than it seems.

Hazy, Fly-by Days
I go through the little mundane motions.
Robotic-like, numbing myself, rocking to and fro.

Go about my business, I'm doin fine
Besides, what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
Brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
And take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pj's and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight
Jewel - You Were Meant For Me

Turning the clockwork, running in circles, running into walls.
Contradictions wage a war within me; every waking hour and every sleepless night.
I think I don't believe in Bohemia anymore.

And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you
You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Lisa Loeb - Stay

Taking a day at a time, coping with emerging demons,
present and past.
I don't know what to feel anymore, only to be cut
bleeding by your curtness and your new-found hatred.

you really have everything you want?
You could never give something you ain't got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now,
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Michelle Branch - Are You Happy Now?

Are You?

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

That's it. I am going to find an occasion to eat and eat and stuff my face until I feel completely H.A.P.P.Y. Fuck you, carbohydrates, fuck you.

I don't like the spaced out overwhelming feeling of fear, gripping me, enveloping me so much so that I can't breathe. So much so that I crouch and look around, trembling. So much so that I only want to stay in my room and not go out.

Dry-eyed, opened wide.
The iris a swirling orb of
tense blackness.
Knuckles closed, gripping tight.
The white stretched over,
trembling bones.