You Never Fail to Surprise Me

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I’m calling out to you
Singing someday it’ll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow?
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning

I cannot lie to the distance.
Pick me up in your convertible,
top up,
shades down
cruising down the dirty pink highway.

I refuse to let this be Square One.

The One With the Paycheck and the Elusive Brit

Well, well, well, if it aint my paycheck, after half a month of waiting and 3 subtle PR emails which Sarah was so kind to help me phrase instead of me shooting my mouth off and typing
"Dear *Recep's name*,
Where the fuck is my money?
Regards,
Eunice"

Anyways, they owe me half of June's pay and the whole of July's pay, to date, I have received money for June and half of July's. I am expected to collect the other half of July's by the end of next week.
The email that personally pissed me off was the one drafted by this woman/girl called "Tacia" (what kind of a weirdass name is tacia?!) which went like
"Hi Eunice,
your current cheque has been processed n you will receive it by this wk.
As for the last few days salary, its either we mail it to u or u come n collect it mayb next wk
Regards,
Tacia"

I was like, hello, its a WEDNESDAY already and my last day is FRIDAY which leaves you THURSDAY or FRIDAY? Which part of "this week" am I supposed to get?! Anyways, I finally got SOME of my pay, so I am gleefully banking it in this evening so that I can get my hands on moolah ASAP. I promise that I will hoard my money and try to save as much as I can. I promise I will only buy my white leather bag and my Chinois top and that's it. PROMISE!!

On another note altogether, I went for the 2nd interview at McCann and this is what the woman said (after asking me loads of questions that strangely included my competitive swimming past and my passion for "creativ-y sort o things"), anyways she said "Well, we would love to have you join us here at McCann Erickson, let me check with my Finance Dept with regards to forms and such and I'll give you a call in the morning at your office?" What the hell does that mean? -twiddles thumbs in paranoia- Okay, I really need a job. Help. Elusive Brit. BAH. -Yelps-

I am glad I am not sick anymore. *does happy not-sick funky dance*

-NEWSFLASH-

Okay, McCann Erickson just called me. And I am HIRED. I am happy. Let's just say the pay is good. *bliss, if only for a moment*

What Transpires

Of food, finery, feasts and facades.

The Hostess

She enters, a picture of perfect prozac ease,
eyeliner scratched across lids,
tainted nails of rusty red.

She waltzes, dishes out rudimentary greetings,
Stale – like her balancing tray of hors d'oeuvres,
bite-sized pieces of false comfort.

She cleans, soap and sponge in hand,
slipping soap suds between fingers,
scrubbing off her crystal-ware nothingness.

Of intimate inquiries, muted murmurs, asinine assumptions and hopes for another day

Dinner Table Conversation

If happiness was yesterday's leftover dinner,
I wish you would partake in my heinous feast.
Deflate my chiffon,
lick off the rancid burns from my weather-beaten pan.

Lay out the silverware,
polish your china chipped plate
that holds my quiet offerings,
little scraps of meat and bone,
stripped bare from my sides.


Clink your wineglass,
drink to my indulgent madness
silent intoxicating brew,
brimming rims of kitsch,
spewed over my tired lipstick stain.

Whip me up some meringue to make the whites peak

Traipsing Around

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just dont care

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, thats the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me,
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone.

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, thats the one thing we've got."

The weekend actually turned out to be quite cool. After what seemed like a rather shitty week, I actually had fun...-surprises self- Had yummy food at Prego's on Saturday night , then while on the way to Marche's to grab dessert, I passed by Balaclava and saw Wen and half of the Wala Wala band playing in there. Headed in, grabbed some seats, had some drinks and they played "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for me, YAY. I've fallen in love with the song all of a sudden. Anways, some shameless advertising for them, I think they are called "Jack In the Box" and they play at Balaclava's every Saturday night and they're really good. By the time I hit my bed I think it was close to 2am in the morning. Slept soundly (and without strange dreams) till Sunday aftie when I was awoken by Smses from my Sec sch friends... "Where are you? I'm waiting alone" and I was like shit, I totally forgot that we were meeting. Anyways, we went traipsing around the heartlands, hahah. Liang and Liying, you made my day. It was a fuss-free, laid back chilling out day. Plus Liang bought me the sparkly belt that I've been eyeing from Esprit, hoohoo! -throws confetti- Then, we did the most random thing, we just decided out of nowhere to sing KTV. Let's just say that now I am down with a really sore throat and a bad cough, pooo.

Anyways, its Monday morning in the office, and I am bopping to "Breakfast at Tiffany's", downing bitter cough syrup and trying to perk myself up at the same time. Got a meeting after work somemore, more project discussions, bah.

I think I've finally put most things into perspective. Its time to perk up. :-) Well, at least I got 3 free DVDs.

Devilish

I feel naughty today. I shall think of naughty lil things to do after work and over the weekend. -plots- My period's ending, that's probably why I'm feeling naughty, hoohoo. -smirks- I just drank a whole cup of Milo and I am stuffed. I ate a lot last night and I am feeling guilty. Pooo. A whole whopper burger plus fries, yeeech. Just came back from a smoke, now that feels hella good. Am smoking reds today, nice, rough and unadulterated. Okay, I know my smoking habits aint interesting but hey, its ma blog.

On another note altogether,
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

But a scrub is checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)

[Chorus]

If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty but you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub
No scrub (no no)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)
No
No scrubs - TLC

Yup. Scrubs should stay away. :-)

Jeff called me just now with a job proposition, interesting. Talked about Mr. Undesireable Company. I've so moved on from that shit, and now I know that more than ever, so he can kiss ma perky ass. The McCann Erickson interview went quite alright. It'll be another 2 weeks before the 2nd interview (if I do get it even) so let's just wait and see...-twiddles thumbs- I was just thinking, what the hell am I going to do when I finish my stint here, now that all of my friends are working?! Oh well, I still have a couple more calls to make regarding job oppurtunities so we'll see. But one thing I know, its that I'mma gonna be livin it up this weekend. Hell yeah.

Post Birthday Contemplation

I have a stuffy nose and I am unbelievably tired. Am feeling a little unsure and vulnerable plus I have an interview at McCann Erickson later at 7pm in town. Apart from that, I guess I am good although I would rather be at home eating fruits and yoghurt and some seared salmon fillets than here in the office. I have yet to receive my paycheck and I am slowly but surely getting broke. No more cabbing. -sniffs-

Wearing pin-striped pants and a pin-striped shirt today, I look unbelievably preppy for this office but hey, the interview matters man. Despite what I am wearing I am still freezing here...I think I am falling ill again. -wheezes-

Yesterday was fab. Many many thanks to Wen, Dawn, Shy, Amy, Audra, Nick and Vallie for celebrating it with me and much love to Ash and Mel esp Ash for succeeding Mel in being the official party planner. Had a lot to eat and it got hilarious when after cutting the cake and all, I tried to feed everyone my cake so I could cut down on eating, but they foiled it by taking turns to feed me more cake one by one, so it seemed like some weird semi-solemn ceremonious thing. Clubbing was quite fun, apart from that weird San Fran dude and Mel trying to make me dance with Ashok. Like what the hell mel. YOU DIE. Was wearing the wrong shoes for dancing and by the time I reached home and hit my bed, my feet were screaming bloody murder. I can't believe I actually read some more Milan Kundera after that even though I was dead tired, but I love this book that I am reading, I think its called Laughable Loves or something. I love the way he aptly deconstructs sexuality and eroticism from the perspective of both men and women and draws the most accurate and quirky philosophical explanations for the sexual games men and women play. Riveting.

I am tired. Tiredtiredtired. I don't even know where to begin.
-soaks in a tub of birthday magic-

Go Shawty, Its Ma Birthday

Thanks all you luvlies for all the birthday pressies, wishes and greetings. I feel slightly loved, hooo :-) Boy, it feels good not to be 19 anymore. The 19th year was extremely tumultous and I pray that my 20th would be smooth-sailing, filled with contentment, meaning and love.

I received a bevy of birthday greetings/smses/e-cards last night and today. Its funny how out of the many greetings and well-wishes you receive, you'd still have your eye open on one particular wish from someone. As like how life turns out (unlike in the movies), that person never shows no matter how you wait. But I am determined not to let that dampen my birthday mood. As Ash said "With birthdays come love and most importantly Birthday luck" so hopefully I'd get a little more magical birthday luck this time round. I've learnt a great deal about love and loss this past year and it has proven to make me more aware and conscious of what I want. On the flipside, it has also made me more weathered, cynical and tired. But hey everyone loves to be loved.

In the meantime, the only thing I can do is to have a ball and a blast as well as a couple of drinks on myself. I deserve it...at least for today. It is afterall, my big two-o. So if you're slogging at your desk at work, being bored at home, slouching at your laptop or whatever, have a drink and/or a smoke on me. But for now, I'mma gonna cross my fingers and wish real hard that the day doesn't end.

Counting Down Aka The Big Two-O

Said I know there is somebody's birthday tonight, somewhere.
And I know Somebody's gonna celebrate tonight somewhere.

I know (One thing's for sure), I'm gonna put on my dancing shoes.
(Then I'mma hit the door) And I go out and step the whole night through.
I know there somebody breaking out the champagne, somewhere.
And, you can be sure that [you can be sure] somebody's
gonna make love night until the day, but one thing

(One thing's for sure), I'm gonna put on my dancing shoes, yeah.
(Then I'ma hit the door) And I go out and step the whole night through
Ohh why wait til somebody else gets up. When I
I wanna be the first one to hit the floor ooo sooooo

OOO So tell the DJ to turn it up. [turn it up]
Yes it feels so good dancing to this remix.
Makes me wanna step, cause it's a cut.
(Snap in the name of love) ohhh baby (Snap in the name of love)
I'm gonna (clap in the name of love) yeah (clap in the name of love) woo
step-in the name (step in the name of love) of love (step in the name of love)
Then I'm gonna groove, yeah (Groove in the name of love)
(Groove in the name of love) in the name of love.

Sigh. I wish.

ROAR

Yes, this is going to be a roar-fest post. -ROARS- First up, let's talk about my weekend. Every saturday morning I get the same old shit in and out and I seriously can't take this shit anymore. It starts with my mum coming home from wherever she's been all week and basically yelling the place down about everything from how the dog shits so much (I mean like get a grip, its a fucking dog, it eats, sleeps and shits and you all know how much I hate dogs so I was not an advocate of getting the mangy lil thing in the first place) to how much of an ingrate I am and she always pulls the "study in Aussie" guilt trip on me and starts tripping like crazy. So every weekend, I get fucked in the morning. I decided not to hang out at home so I went out to town. Town was so-so, bought shitloads of books. I like Hanif Kureishi...nice dark writing. Bought a top walked around, smoked a lot, cussed a lot, got harrassed by weird talent scouts, people asking me to donate money and people trying to do surveys. And all the while, I was gritting my teeth and trying not to shove their clipboards into their grimy faces. No offense man, but seriously, when I say I aint interested, get a hint and take a hike. Prey on other towners. Had dinner, went drinking, cabbed home...all the while feeling hella irritated.

-ROAR-

Next, let's talk about people who do not like to return calls or smses. Why even bother to get a mobile phone and pay subscription fees when you a) Don't pick up your calls b) Don't return calls c) Don't sms d) Don't reply smses e) All of the above. If someone calls me, I'd pick up. If I miss a call, I'd return it. Why? Because I am considerate. But nooooooo...people have this inane habit of not returning calls, not picking up their mobile phones and not replying smses. And it makes the other person who's calling/smsing feel like some weirdass despo-phone stalker. But hey, its ok man, let's just leave e poor caller to rot in his/her lousy feelings.

-ROAR-

Okay, onto cab drivers who talk too much. Picture this. Its early in the morning. You're groggy and bleary-eyed from the night before, you woke up late and you rush to get dressed and you're freaking late for work. So what do you do? You call a cab and promise yourself for the umpteenth time to wake up early the next morning so you can take public transport and not waste anymore of your hard-earned money. The last thing you need when you're feeling tired and broke is a ranting cab driver. Example.
"Eh hallo miss ah, wa, your husband never wake you up ah, hahahah late ah, hahaha. (goes on to laugh like some deranged hyena)"
"I don't have a husband"
"Eh? No husband ah, your mother leh? Never wake you up ah? Aiyo, never eat breakfast ah, must eat breakfast you know"
"I set my own alarm (grits teeth)"
"wah, miss ah, you got no boyfriend ah, wa, why ah? You quite pretty what. Nowsadays ahs, malays very easy to find wat"
"Huh, wad malays?"
"Eh, you not malay ah! Wa, so dark (proceeds to take off shades and scrutinise me) Solli ah, I tot you malay ley"
"No I am not (says in perfect Mandarin)"
"Wah, then why you got no boyfriend ah?"
(Is this supposed to be some racist comment...)
"I don't want, waste time (shut e fuck up already)"
"Ah? Why? Got boyfriend can send you to work wad, eh you want to eat biscuit? No? Grapes? No? Ah? No breakfast ah, you veli poor thing hor"
"Eh miss ah, solli ah, just now say you malay ah...hehe"
Nuff said.

-ROAR-

Now, let's talk about weirdness. Like how isn't it weird when you walk into the office and you're hit my a HUGE ass tummyache so you rush to the toilet to crap and then you find out that Hey! Lo and behold, you get your period and you're wearing a fucking thong! HOoray! So you make do with it and use a pad and sit like a duck, hoping nothing leaks.
Or how like people get weird on you and somehow accuses you of things you don't do and then when it AINT YOUR FAULT you apologise because you're basically a nice person and then they go on to indulge in their hissy fit and not respond when they're the ones OVERREACTING?!
Or like how your birthday is coming but apparently your whole family seems to have AMNESIA and forget about it and your mum only focuses on ranting e hell out of you every saturday morning?

-ROAR- -ROAR- -ROAR-

Change Clothes...And Go

What can I say, Jay Z rocks. I can't wait till knockoff because tonight we're finally going clubbing! Yeah bitch! After countless days and weeks and pining, whining, humming R&B to myself and roaring, we are finally going! And better yet, tomorrow, there is the RHW party thingamajigg at Rouge. Off the hizzle! -Wonders what to wear tmr- Yesterday was a Pooo day. I got chided by my Retail Manager for fucking up invoices which I have no idea how to do for various reasons. After that, I treated my family to dinner, pigged out on sushi and shit and the bloody bill came up to over a hundred bucks. Pooo. But it was worth it I guess. Its only 3.30pm in the afternoon. Bah. 2.5 more hours to go. -twiddles thumbs- Why is it that when my retail manager is not in, I have a lot of work to do and when he is in, I already finished e work and it makes me seem like I have been slacking all day?! So he'll think that I have been slacking and make me do more pooo jobs. BAH.

Undesireable company called yesterday again. Hella irritating. I mean seriously get a life, and a clue at that. I am sure there are greater things out there to do when you are 28 instead of making lewd remarks and suggestions and basically being full of shit. I can't even be bothered man, what's with people being juvenile these days.

Anyways, here's to merrymaking tonight. Yeah... -hums Usher's Yeah!-

Trivia

OKay you know those irritating things that they post on friendsters for you to fill up so that you could "get to know interesting things about your friends"? I think its bullshit. My friends would know most of the quirky weird stuff that I do anyhow, but alas I sucummbed to boredom...

Only bec I am bored in the office...
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?:
Ok, Eunice should suffice.
2. What are you wearing now?
A white tube
3. WHAT SONGS ARE U LISTENING RIGHT NOW?:
Mad season by Matchbox 20
4. WHAT IS YOUR hPHONE NUMBER?:
Oooh I presume those who know wld know.
5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?:
Ruffles chips with sour cream dip. Yum
6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD
YOU BE?:
Red, or orange!
7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?:
I have no idea, but e office is freezing
8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
erm. hmmm. sean, I think.
9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?:
Its the whole package and the flow man
10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?:
uhm...yah..whoever it is. since so many pple posted this.
11. Fav dance:
Ash says its the "bump and grind" I beg to differ -_-
12. FAVORITE DRINK?:
Coke Lite!!!
13. WHO DO U LIKE?:
erm, me? Kooky people?
14. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?:
Oh I've got a few, but yeah bobo and ash...and a few other select individuals
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?:
Has got to be swimming
16. EYE COLOR?:
Black
17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?:
Yup
18. FAVORITE MONTH?:
July!! BIRTHDAY!!!!!
19. FAVORiTE FOOD?:
People who know me would know that this list goes on forever. Its better to name fave ingredients, chicken breasts, garlic, onions, tomatoes, eggs, olives, cheese, spinach, minced beef, herbs, olive oil, herbs yada yada.
20. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?:
spiderman 2
21. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
21st July!!!! BIRTHDAY! -coughs-hint-coughs
22. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?:
I dunno, it depends
31. FAVORITE BOARD GAME(S):
Game of life, where else do you get 3D cars, houses and kids man?
32. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?:
Watched In America and Bring it on, while eating chips and dip and trying to fall aslp and get well at the same time
33. FAVORITE SMELL(S):
Myself. Oooh. Narcissistic. Stuff frying in
the pan, freshly cut grass...
34. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?:
NO. Do I look like a circus act? Huh?! Huh! -gets agitated-
35. BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTY POPCORN?:
Buttered and SWEET. Yum
36. FAVORITE CAR?:
Has to be e Audi TT
37. FAVORITE FLOWER?:
Sunflowers, geberas, lilies, roses (how cliche, heh)
38. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?:
5 I think
39.CAN YOU JUGGLE?:
Again, do I look like a circus ACT?!
40. FAVORITE DAY(S):
Fridays! Wednesdays! Sundays!
41. RED OR WHITE WINE?:
Red actually
42. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Was pretty fucked up. Lost money, ate at lemongrass, drank at alleybar, got pressies, ate cake, not in that particular order.
43. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?:
No way
44. LIFETIME GOAl??:
To be fulfilled spritually and materialistically, I think.
45. FIRST THING U THINK OF WHEN U WAKE UP IN
THE MORNING?:
Fuck, what to wear/I am late/what time is
it/5 more mins/Oooh -yawn- yummy sleep (on good
days)
46. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTH DATE? :
21st JULY! 21st JULY!!!! BIRTHDAYS AND BIRTHDAY CAKES RULE!!!!

Here's another one...
1. YOUR HOROSCOPE?
Cancer
2. SiNGLE OR TAKEN?
Single.
3. IF TAKEN, BY WHO?
4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERiOUSLY HURT BY THE
PERSON YOU LOVE/D?
Hell Yeah
5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU TURNED
SUiCiDAL?
My mounting insanity.
6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?
I presume so
7. PREFER COUNTRY OR CLASSiC?
Country.
8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?
Hmm, smart/ugly...
9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTH YOUR
BF/GF/CRUSH?
Nope, not at all.
10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGE USUALLY FROM:
People I love.
11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THE OPPOSiTE
GENDER? WHO?
I think so
12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED?
You don't want to know.

13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?
It seriously depends
14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE.
Intellectual stimulation, good food, fine wine, nice weather, funky conversation, physical stimulation, need I say more.
15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS WHY THE SKY iS
BLUE? WHAT DO YOU THiNK?
This is such a duh-brain question.
16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?
YEs
17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAME MiSTAKE AGAiN
WITH LOVE???
I try not too.
18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL?
Not really, I am a nice person.
19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSON BREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY?
I'd just fuck it. Scratch his car.
20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRiBES WHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW.
Boored
21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELF?
MOst of the time, yes :)
22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF?
Nope I am too cowardly for that -meek smile-
23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF?
All the time, my neurons talk to me. I talk to me. The walls talk to me. Ooooh....
24. MOTTO iN LiFE.
I am not a slogan spewing person
26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD *EXTRA* FEELiNGS ABOUT A
BEST FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?
Heh, let's not start.
27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO ABOUT iT? iF NO, WHAT
WOULD YOU DO?
Again, let's not get started.
28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANT THiNGS iN
YOUR LiFE?
Nope, but they rank high though
29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS WHEN
YOU`RE SLEEPiNG?
According to my friends, I snore, and I like to sleep on my side.
30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP?
Not really.
31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?
Whenever I feel like it, I love sleeping!!!
32. ARE YOU CONVENiENT WiTH THAT?
With wot? My sleeping -ahem- habits? Haha. Yeah, I wish I could sleep more though.
33. LAST, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE PERFECT?
Far from it man

Ok, that is as much trivia that I would partake in...

Lurking About in The Office

Yup that's right. I am trying to keep a very low profile while still trying to look busy by having my Outlook up on my sceen everytime anyone walks past. The reason? My retail manager. The dude is back in the office and I am PRETTY sure that he would have work for me, which normally consists of tasks that I can't really execute because I have no inkling of how to do bloody accounts and invoices. I HATE invoices. My photocopier just chewed up a corner of my invoice and I have to give it to the horrid receptionist, who will prolly throw a hissy fit since a corner of the paper is torn off. And everytime my retail manager stands up, I panic, because I don't want to do invoices!
-wails- Plus if he sees that I am surfing the net when he passes by, he'll try to cook up something for me to do. -watches retail manager out of the corner of my eye- I hope he goes off the the stores soon. Away, leave me in peace ol eville one!

YAY i just downloaded Photoshop, gonna fiddle with some photos later so that I can put them up on the blog. Oh by the way, I have fallen in love with Joss Stone, especially her song "Super Duper Love". Funky. Been playing it again and again to keep my spirits up. I feel ticklish today, I feel like standing up on my table, pointing at everyone, laughing my head off and exclaiming "Haha, you uuuglay. Ugglay people!"

Okay. -Sobers up- I had a sinful dinner last night. Huge roast beef sadwiches, salads and the most delish brownie with gelato. Oh, the brownie was so good. (Take it from a foodie, when I say its good, its motherf*ckin good aiight) Cancerians do know best when it comes to eating. I have to stop having heavy dinners. They aint good, especially when I am not getting a lot of cardio-vascular excercise in the form of CLUBBING -throws evil glance at Ash and Mel- and other activities, heh.

Mad Season

I feel stupid
But I know it won’t last for long
And I’ve been guessing
And I could have been guessing wrong

You don’t know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got you down?

I feel stupid
but it’s something that comes and goes
And I’ve been changing
I think it’s funny how no one knows

And we don’t talk about
The little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around

I feel stupid
But I think I’ve been catching on
I feel ugly
But I know I still turn you on

You’ve grown colder now
Torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down?

Now I’m crying
Isn’t that what you want?
And I’m trying to live my life on my own
But I won’t know the times I do believe I am strong

So someone tell my why do I feel stupid?
And I come undone?

I fear the worst.

Ho Hum Drum

I am feeling highly irritated today. And its for no good reason, which adds to the irritation. I do not like my receptionist at all, and I think the feeling is mutual. She's this rebonded hair-stick thin-toa payoh clothes wearing woman who looks at me like I am beneath her. Plus, she just threw back my invoices muttering something about it not being in order when I don't understand what the problem is since it looks in order to me. Oh well, I decided to chuck them aside and not mess with them at all since I have no idea what is wrong and my retail manager (who looks like he belongs in the band the Rasmus) is not in today. The office is surprisingly quiet, I think most of the staff are having some meeting now. I have no idea where my marketing manager went to, so for the whole morning, I have been officially doing NOTHING. Its exasperating. I am feeling fidgety as hell, sitting on the edge of my seat and wondering what to do. I have read almost everyone's blogs, checked my email like about a million times, been on 2 smoke breaks, 1 toilet break and still, time seems to have decided to crawl slowly by today. Well at least there is 30 mins or so till lunchtime and when I get back, I'd better have something to do.
Had a tequila shot last night, went home and slept like a baby. I forgot to set my alarm this morning and I woke up in hazy panic, thank god it was only 7.21am. Proceeded to fall back asleep and only woke up at 8am. More cabbing to work again. My mummy hit the Mango sale yesterday and she bought me tube tops and a skirt, well actually the skirt is my sister's but I found out that I could fit into it, so now its mine, muahahaha.
I was so bored that I decided to plan my birthday which I don't normally do. Was thinking of holding it at someone's place and cooking for everyone. So I got my Chicago sketchbook out and wrote down the stuff that I might want to cook, if I do decide to, and I came up with a grocery shopping list. Yes, this is how bored I am. Its a miserably cold day and its only Tuesday. I wish it was Friday so I could have a free weekend. I want to be home, watching Vcds and walking around town in the sun. I'm MISERABLE. And I have this impending fear that my birthday would be as sucky as last year's...it already feels like it and with the rate things are going nowadays, I'm pretty sure of it as well. Learnt this from Gene's livejournal: THIS IS SUCKS. Pffft.

Realization

Desmond read my palm a few days ago and he said that surprisingly, I am more of a head person than a heart person. I was extremely amused by his reading but I realised that its actually quite true. Most decisions I make based on heart are made with a lot of angst, decisions that I have made based on my head are calculated thoughts, that render me resolve. Of course, this can apply to all decisions made via head or heart since inevitably, decisions made my the heart are generally more angst-ridden and difficult to execute.
I like resolve. Not having resolve makes things difficult and draggy. Not having resolve makes you stuck in this vacuum of hope. I like to systematically compartmentalise my issues, like a tax attorney who's busy filing accounts. Sometimes, being too intuned with the whole "Today's the day when dreaming ends-I am a courtesan, I cannot love-My watchamacallit makeup is flaking and my heart is breaking" vibe can prove to be sweet and mellow but a tad too painful for me. Again, I reiterate, resolve is good. (Perhaps, its because today I am wearing a spiffy shirt and thinking compartmentalised thoughts, but yeah)

On a more mundane and bimbotic note, my nail polish on one finger has chipped a tad. Cheebye. That is what happens when you have to mount things early in the morning. On another bimbotic note, I squashed the backs of my new white shoes because they hurt. Bad shoes. Pfft.
Oh and by the way, Spiderman 2 rocks, I can't wait for the next one. I love Marvel but I so didn't buy that whole Mary Jane Watson pining for Peter Parker crapass. Things like that only happens in movies. Whoops, o wait, but it IS a movie. Heh.

Flippin and Flying

Had crowbars meeting with Nicky, Ash and Vallie last night. It felt so good to be outdoors. Had fab sushi at Sushi Tei where we just ate like pigs. Been feeling woozy quite often, its quite amusing. My head is a huge mess of tumbling, woozy, neurotic thoughts. Had a bad bout of tonsilitis early this week, ack. Been eating more, it feels good to do normal things like eat, walk and breathe. Watched really good movies over the week like Virgin Suicides, Magnolia and Monster's Ball. Its only when I was on 2 day MC did I realise that I think I got a job too soon, I miss not doing anything and waking up at my own leisurely pace. Have a really bad face/hair day today, boo. My hair feels like hay and there are exactly 11 pimples on my face, how hateful. Go away, go away! *zaps pimples with imaginary ray gun* Pfft.
I think God is mocking me, I am being plagued by weird people. Go away! *zaps weird people with imaginary ray gun* I got my pay, so all is good, but I have so many bills to pay! *zaps bills with imaginary ray gun* Heh. Ok, you get th picture. I think I am going mad. Hahaha. Weird pendulum mood swings. I love my new shoes. But I don't know wot to wear em with. Pfft again. I feel like running around naked and screaming down people's hallways. Oh my god Eunice, you are going mad. Oh my god Eunice, you're talking to yourself
-looks around furtively-