Plebian, Not

Sippin' on Coke and Rum,
I'm like so what I'm drunk,
Its the freaking weekend baby
I'mma gonna have me some fun
Ignition Remix - R. Kelly

You know you're living it up when you can finally leave the woes of work behind for the weekend.
You know you're living it up when you're g'ed up and cruising.
You know you're living it up when they're popping the champagne, downing the liquor and ordering em bottles.
You know you're living it up when you look down and you feel a surge of power.
You know you're living it up when you're playing with models/actors/rich bratty boys & girls.
You know you're living it up when after opening hours you head to another joint.
You know you're living it up when you sleep at friggin 5am and wake up feeling like a cocky motherfucker.
You know you're living it up when you got a hotel party in a few hours.
You know you're living it up when you know you're gonna be chilling in your bikini at the poolside.
You know you're living it up when pretty boys try their moves.

I apologise if I don't feel small, awkward and out of place.
Because I fucking deserve it.

Back From Hiatus

So here I am, back in the office after a sinful 2 days worth of MC. Yesterday was an extremely tiring yet purposeful day. Bumped into Vallie, Wen and Kimberly at night near Shaw Towers. It was really nice seeing Vallie again and I totally forgot that Nick had already entered the army...hahah the poor boy. I can imagine him dying in there but surprisingly Val says he's roughing it out quite well. And I got a tad worried for him when I found out that he was already in army.
Work piled skyhigh when I came in today. My mailbox was flooded beyond flooded and I spent like half an hour trying to clear all of my mail and emailing people. Avoided the director, now she's out of the office. Fanfuckingtastic. I can finally have some peace doing my work without being this huge bundle of nerves. My eyes are hella dry and they're starting to sting a little. Ugh, stupid contact lenses. Bah. Now everything's kind of blurry and hazy. :-(
Today's a mildly okay day I suppose, I officially have about $17 in my bank account. Hurray. That cheaque from Alliance seems to take forever to make its way to me mailbox. Bastards. I am so amused that I have time to blog. Lalala. I look like a dishevelled ghost today. No make-up, hair in messy ponytail wearing ultra slack clothes. Super tired. Poooo.

Quiet Morning

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out

Maybe I am a copout but I couldn't bring myself to go to work today. Woke up feeling anxious close to tears because of a bad dream, then my stomache started churning again. That was when I knew I couldn't analyse Antiseptic and Adhesive brands for "Woundcare". Seriously, I hate the job. I hate it. That's all I have to say about it. I have never not liked doing anything media-related so much before. I just want to not work anymore, go abroad to study. Enough of this corporate robot shit. At least let me do something I love.

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current

My body aches. I feel like purging my insides of this stupid stupid obsession. I feel like a stupid, lifeless, paranoid, nobody ragdoll. (Hur hur, how can a lifeless ragdoll feel stupid and paranoid, arg)

So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

I just want to OD and die. Yeah. Foaming at the mouth, eyes wide open, bloodshot, clad in dirty lingerie, and cigarette ash.
Trippy.

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Nah, I am just stupid and painfully muted.

Its Going Down

Uh I like it like that she working that back I don't know how to act
Slow motion for me, slow motion for me, slow motion for me
move it slow motion for me
Uh I like it like that she working that back I don't know how to act
Slow motion for me, slow motion for me, slow motion for me
move it slow motion for me

like how that victoria secret sit in that ass
Let me pour some more hip and hennsey in your glass
Would I be violating if I grab me a handfull
Im knowing what's happening all I want is a sample
Who you wit I'm in the rental today
It's going down and happening and I remember the way
Less money we spend on bullshit the more for the weed
What's it gonna take for you to come slow motion with me
Slow Motion - Juvenile

Little daydreams in the office. Heh. Pooo.

Obsession



"Love can make you do insane things"

I want to go to Wicker Park. Take me there.

Sarah's Birthday BBQ

Ok, I think my blog is looking rather wordy so I have deicded to put up some pics...so here goes.



All the chickas...


The only boys from MCM...hur


Ok, some weird disorganized pic. I have no idea why Merf is standing on the table, haha.


And now the dude turns his back on us, tsk.


The only person who bothered helping to cook, Shy...(the rest of the mcmers were just greedy gobblers at the table, haha...typical)


More disorganization...it seems people have a knack for standing anywhere...where's dawnie?!

Weekend
I spent the weekend with a pubful of half naked ruggers. Nuff said.
Btw, happy birthday sarah! -hugs- Thank you for being the loveliest of hosts. I have this to say, at Sarah's bbq, she was such a sweetie, always running around, cooking food and feeding us. -feels bad-
Went for agency lunch on Friday. It was an awkward affair since my supervisor decided to bail out on me at the last minute and we had seating plans so I couldn't sit with my director and colleagues all. Ended up sitting with the finance and accounts people. If I am not wrong we'll be going on some all expense paid trip thingy to Bangkok for 3 days. -shrug-
The weekend was alright. But yesterday night ended in a highly irritating way. When I say I want to go home, it probably means that you're not worth that much of my time. So buy yourself a clue. Men. Sometimes they have shit for brains. Oh wait, what do you mean "sometimes"? BAH.
Oh and never go to a social event filled with yummy guys with a dumbass guy. It tarnishes your rep as a cool, single chick. DOUBLE BAH.
-hisses, spits and shifts from one foot to another-
Pooo.
I won’t tell your secrets
Your secrets are safe with me
I will keep your secrets
Just think of me as the pages in your diary

Looking Out of the Window
I can see the treetops swaying outside. It means its windy out in Orchard Rd. Right here in the office its cold, even with my shawl on and as a result I have got a leaky nose. Most mornings when I wake up, I feel dead and numbed. The only important issues on my mind in the mornings are what to wear and how to be on time. I have slipped into some kind of routine. Its wakeup-dress up-go to work-lunch-work-knockoff-hang around-go home-sleep-wakeup. My complexion is waning, I have ugly eyebags and I am constantly sick.
You cannot find existantialism in excel sheets. So how do people who have been working for years get derive some meaning in life? I seriously have no idea.
Its true, the only way to deal with things nowadays is by yourself. You face a problem in the office, you deal with it. You don't have your poly friends who used to share e same assignments/projects/school hours/timetable to fall back on now.
And at the end of the day, you come to realise the sobering fact - that seriously, nobody really truly gives a fuck, except for maybe you and God.
By the way, I hate it when people whom are in actual fact lucky, take on the role of a "woe is me, I am a poor soul, my life is in a wreck" stance when all of their "drama" or "problems" are minute and self imposed. And I would think that a lot of people would agree that if you have a roof over your head, a vehicle in your house, you get to keep both your parents, your mental health is fine (you're crying because you're sad not because you are mad), your health in general is fine, you got plenty of pretty clothes and plenty of nice food, you should just get over yourself and suck it up. I am sorry but I have seen people with plenty of bigger problems than these daddies' girls and mummy's boys. And note, I am not being self-righteous, just felt a sudden bitterness in my throat and whoah where did that come from. Hur.
Another thing just popped into my head. Cheapening love. Its more than just the mollycuddles, sweet nothings and the filling of an ever present void. Its more than false comfort. Much more.
And I wonder where the hell did all that honest sense of wonder go to. When the dancer becomes the dance, the poet becomes the words, the artist his brush - the whole sense of "being" takes on a metaphysical shift. No, its just pragmatism and the selfish little feelings of contentment and the dangerous allure of glamour that rages nowadays.
Its putrid and disgustingly beautiful at the same time.
Ah yes, yet another nonsensical, ambiguous rant.

Busy Bumble Bee
Righteyo, its after lunch time and I've been busy since morning. Am getting used to the workload and horrid Excel as time passes so I guess that's good. The corporate world is ruled my Microsoft Excel, no one loves Word anymore, pooo. The long weekend did us all good I think.

Talking about National Day, I have this to say about the Fireworks Festival... There must be something strangely alluring about the act of catching the fireworks display because on Sunday as I was happily walking to the Esplanade to head down to Centro to party, my night got completely ruined. Yes, completely. While walking down, I was surprised to see all these mainland Chinese tourists/Aunties/Crying babies and wailing toddlers and burly Uncles who were picking their teeth rushing in one general direction. When I reached the Esplanade, lo and behold, its like Moses leading all his people down the highway because the goddamned road was blocked and the whole of Esplanade was FLOODED. Yes, flooded. People were standing, sitting like it was some mass picnic and climbing at any structure above ground level to have better views and I thought, "There goes my night". Then when the Fireworks started, they seriously sounded like bombs were dropping from the sky. So I spent 30 mins pushing and shoving my way to Centro only to find this huge ass queue snaking all the way back and merging with the people who were gathering there to watch Fireworks. Coupled with totally zero reception from Starhub (I presume everyone was having some cheap thrill out of sending mass "Happy National Day" messages to everyone else which jammed the lines), it really felt like it was wartime. Picture this, the streets were overrun with people who sound frantic, the roads were blocked, there were "explosions" in the air and reception was cut. Hur. All I needed was my transistor radio, some canned food and a bomb shelter. Oh and btw, it was extremely amusing to see all the taxpayer's money go up in smoke, literally.
So I had no choice but to end up at Boat Quay which is the most uber loser-ish place to be, smoking and trying to chillax. BAH.

The rest of the weekend was spent at home, watching Vcds and sleeping. I alternated between watching TV, surfing the net and lying on my bed till I decided to head out to town. Bought stuff to make a brooch from Spotlight (oooh creati-vy) and that was it. So yeah, Happy National Day to you too.

*By the way, for weight-watchers out there who love potato chips, please try Terra's Blue chips (no they are not some stock shares or whatnot). They're lovely chips made from those Blue patatoes with 50% less fat, so 15 chips is only 150 calories and the chips are huge and not overly salty as well. Yum. A note of caution: Excessive pigging out on Terra's Blue Chips might have a laxative effect and might give you loads of gas. Hur hur.

A Little Relief

Okay, have taken some time out just before lunch to do a little idle blogging. Work has been hectic and my learning curve is indeed huge. I have to learn and internalise so many things in a short time. -poofed- Gone are the days that I can shake leg in the office and make courtesy calls to designers and suppliers...O well. Things are changing, I feel a shift in the winds, I do hope the coming months will be quite a ride.

Anyways, here's more of those dumbass quizzes. Am too tired to type some deep lengthy post. Oh yeah and btw, Happy Birthday Singapore! (Actually no one really gives a shit, all we care about is the long weekend yo)

A - Age: 20
B - Band at the moment: Erm, what band? Fave band? Band-aid? Maroon Five (waves pom poms)
C - Career in the future: Advertising/PR/Marcomm Guru? Tai-tai/socialite (hoohoo, glee)
D - Dad's name: Alex? Does it matter?
E - Easiest person to talk to: Ash/Mel/Bobo/Gary/myself? -jabbers-
F - Favorite song at the moment: Ooh, ooh. Pump it Up by Joe Budden, You Oughtta Know by Alanis, Sunday Morning by Maroon Five, Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something (yes yes I have many faves)
G - Guys/Girls you've kissed: You asking about Guys OR Girls? I dun kiss and tell, teehee
H - Hometown: Bishan, S'pore's most successful heartland, yeah!
I - Instruments you play: Piano, erm, the recorder?
J - Job title: Media Executive
K - Kids: I like em. Only before they turn ugly at Pri. 4 and please, no Pasar Malam Digimon tees. -rolls eyes-
L - Longest car ride ever:I don't know? Erm...
M - Mom's name: What's all this parents' names nonsense, its about me, me, ME!!!
N - Number of people you've slept with: Oooh, wouldn't you like to know.
O - Oldest sibling: None.
P - Phobia[s]: Anxiety, insects, ugly people, stupidity
Q - Quote you like: I am not a "quote" person but maybe its "In the future, everyone would be famous for 15 minutes" Was it Andy Warhol that said that?
R - Relationship that lasted the longest: A year and then some.
S - Song you sang last: I sing all the time, so I can't keep track.
T - Time you wake up: 8am
U - Unknown fact about me: I think I might be a closet bisexual; I have a stuffed toy called Tiggery, he's e ruler of all my other toys...FUCK YOU ah, they have feelings.
V - Vegetable you hate: Celery when its not done properly and beetroots. They're eville and squishy.
W - Worst habit: I sing loudly, talk in funny accents, speak in tamil/hindi and I burp and laugh at the same time, muahhaa.
X - X-rays: I keep a safe distance from the hospital.
Y - Yummy food: Oooh too much, too much. Italian, Jap, baked stuff, grilled stuff, cheesy-creamy stuff, fruity stuff.
Z - Zodiac sign: Cancer! -waves crab claws-

Its a Little Bit Too Much

Its my first day at McCann Erickson and trust me, its no joke. Upon entering the office, before I got started up with my comp and techie stuff, I was whisked into the conference room for a meeting, given an introductory talk and work to do. And it was 9.30am. Since then I have been working non-stop, studying the markets, familiarizing myself with the accounts I have been assigned to and introducing myself to the regional offices. (Re: Sending posuer PR emails to Asia Pac offices to say "hello", BAH)

Only had time for one ciggie and I haven't been to the toilet since. The consolation is that I have a window cubicle, its directly next to the window. I have no music :-( The only music there is, is the oldies blasting from my neighbour's cubicle. My eyelids have been twitching since 2 nights ago...-twitches- STOP TWITCHING! -holds eyelids down- The office environment here is very sombre and the cubicles are small-ish...-squirms- Like hallo, the regional director has e same sized cubicle as me, like what e hell...weird. Walked around to creatives and accounts (looks longingly) and met e rest o the worldgroup people. There is an agency lunch on friday...-squirms somemore- I am lonely! -cries and wails-
I need my music...(resorts to singing to herself)

Round and Round, Back and Forth

You build me up
You knock me down
Provoke a smile
And make me frown
You are the Queen of Runaround
You know its true

You chew me up
And shit me out
Enjoy the taste
I leave in your mouth
You look at me
I look at you
Neither of us know what to do
Shiver - Maroon Five

You know I won't take the cards you lay down,
You know you got to take me by force
You know you don't have to
You know when my eyelids dip, my eyes dart away and I turn red...and you laugh.
You know, you know.

I drove for miles and miles
and wound up at your door
I've had you so many times
but somehow I want more
She will be Loved - Maroon Five

Its surreal. Its frightening.
But not more than how it feels good.
Look what we've gone and done now.

Fumbling through your dresser drawer,
forgot what I was looking for
Try to guide me in the right direction
making use of all this time
keeping everything inside
close my eyes and listen to you cry
Must Get Out - Maroon Five

Its different.
I revel in sweet nothingness.
God's timing amuses me,
like a playwright unfolding in front of me,
real time.
I don't even feel like "I don't need to listen to all this."
Wow. Aint it all funny.

Where you are seems to be
as far as eternity
Outstretched arms, open hearts
and if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
or treat you unkind
I know you understand
and with a tear in my eye
give me the sweetest goodbye
that I ever did receive
Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon Five

I'm moving onto something new.
I feel scared, excited and strangely paranoid.
But I know, its impossible to leave you behind.

But things are crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you

So its been back and forth, running rampant runaraounds.
I'm moving forward in cicles, spiralling.
This fostered silence sounds like our minds ticking
now, look what we've gone and done now.


On another note altogether, I'm enjoying my 4 day break. Had an exhausting day yesterday running round clearing administrative stuff. Met up with Jeff, dropped by the office, ran some errands in town, had yummy dinner.
By the time I hit my bed, I was ready to crash, woke up at 11.30am, haha, my biological clock's weird again.
Today's gonna be another day out. Tomorrow's work again. -scared- I hope I don't get eaten up alive by them.